Truth: I get scared too when asked to go deep and do the work. So I did.

Going deep, it seems to be a consistent message fro me this year. When I leave the comfort of the surface and go into the depths- when I go through IT- that’s where the healing happens. IT can be anything. It’s essentially the thing that gets in your way when you try to make forward progress in your life. My IT? I’m Too Much. Too Loud. Too messy. Too big. Too emotional. Too fat. Too many passions. Too many ideas. Too many cameras ( this is not one I’m ready to deal with ATM lol).
I recently went for a massage and bodywork session with Rebecca Ladret at Sacred Space Bodywork Studio. All Too Much of me showed up to her beautiful studio, and she welcomed me in. I’m sure she could tell I was nervous as we discussed a health history and she made me feel comfortable and settled. I talked and talked and she listened and listened until I was ready. I really don’t get massages very often, maybe once a year, as the noisy chatter of my Too Muchness always gets in the way of me relaxing and being fully present.
So I slip my Too Big body into the warm sheets, apologizing the entire way in. To whom? I don’t know.
Rebecca knew exactly where my tension existed and when I got too chatty, she did the perfect thing: an exaggerated breath in and out and I fell for it every time. I felt my brain going back to the same place over agin; apologizing for my Too Muchness, my body, my stretch marks my everything. I stopped taking and breathed and breathed. And remembered why I was thee. For me. No other reason. And I landed back in my body again.
Thats all it took, and it was too easy to leave this place of going deep.
Rebecca knew exactly where my points of tension were to touch and help to move out the tension. She knew specifically where to touch to most effectively move out the build up tension to allow me to go deeper. Thats the parallel- we both offer opportunities for others to hold space and go deep- too bad Ifdid not listen my own advice- until today. I left feeling like a melted pile of jello- in such a good way. Rebecca set try stage and offered opportunities for me to go deep to heal- and I took advantage of that offer. I can’t believe I don’t do this more often; really. I see my fear in going deep’ On a consistent basis.
My learning? Show up in your Too Muchness; you don’t owe the word Thin, you don’t owe the world an absence of stretch marks, You don’t owe the world a cellulite free existence. I promote my work by saying “A single, stand alone experience can change your life. Repeated experiential learning and support will serve to amplify and enhance your life.” Repeated, photographic experiences can open you up to tremendous healing. So can massage. I should really listen to my own advice seriously. Thank you Rebecca, from the bottom of my heart for providing a space to go deep and heal. I can’t wait to see you again xoxo